So I´ve decided to start this thing out of complete boredom, the amount of time I spend just rolling around in bed staring at my beautiful, filthy wood ceiling and the half stuck fosforecent planets I bought when I was a kid (thinking it was really cool until stinky pieces of plastic began falling in my face while sleeping because of it´s incredibly cheap glue) and the many many dart holes in it (throwing darts while in bed is kinda dangerous, especially when you completely forget about them stuck over your head and go to sleep, so dont try it in home kids, believe me...) has become so much that I´m starting to get paranoid and imagine weird stuff... like sewer babies and tiramisu children. Since I was a kid Ive always been told that I should be doing stuff instead of just laying around like that old shark thingie toy I happen to find sometimes when "cleaning" my room, of course it´s thrown around somewhere after the "cleaning" finishes, forgotten in time, lurking around until its next apparition. When I do happen to be laying around like that shark thingie toy, I always begin to come up with this weird "This guy needs a shrink right now" kind of things, what most people would tag as " incredibly stupid stuff" so maybe writing this thing will help my poor brain take a rest from sewer babies and tiramisu children.
Why do I spend so much time doing nothing? Thats simple, I´m sick... I suffer from a terrible incurable disease... I suffer from laziness.
Why should I be doing something when I can be on my bed thinking about the wonders around me, that stuff that "really matters", like what the hell was that incredibly awful smelling thing that an old chinese woman was eating next to me in a bus, she was taking pieces of... that thing with her dirty hands from this greasy bottomed paper bag and kept staring at me, smiling and trying to have some small talk, while I was pretending to read a book to keep me from staring at her pointy, yellow teeth. Or what happens inside the mind of that crossdresser-ninja guy that always appears out of nowhere and tries to spank me when I go out for some fresh air and a cup of coffee.
In conclusion, if you are looking for stories about amazing animals and their adventures, tips for gardening, hot and steamy love stories, videogame guides, useful information about scurvy and or a pokemon fan center... you are in the wrong place.
If you are looking for some random, paranoic, lazy guy´s rantings about ghostlike neighbors, terrorist christian brothers, weird perverted 40-something guys named Wally, deaf guys that spit at you while riding a bike and fat old women trying to seduce young men with their amazing car washing abilities, this is your place.
Whats my name, where do I live, what the hell is wrong with me and how many atoms of Jesus I eat every day is irrelevant, all that matters is that I´m haunted by images of amazing sewer babies and tiramisu children...
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